So Jonesing for Football!

Hey guys!  It's almost football season!  Yes, I know it's technically not almost football season, but it's closer than it was this time last week...

Thanks to Sue for giving us a place to get together and play Fantasy.  I am glad to be on ESPN for this season, the interface is good.  My only complaint is the logo function, I have never been able to get my own logo up!  But that is so not important.

What is important is the draft.  So I went through and ranked the players for my draft, even did the autodraft rules (this is a very cool new feature with ESPN).  Spent a fair amount of time looking at players, byes, my preferences, etc.  I got this thing NAILED!  Then I started cruising around the league tabs and looked at the keeper page.  Um, I shoulda looked at that first.  Cuz now I have to re-rank my players.  Unless you guys want to trade your keepers to me. 

No big deal, really (she tells herself, shaking her head).  I usually go throught the draft list at least three times before "the day".  What do you do to prepare for the draft?

Coming Clean...

Ok, I just have to get this off my chest.  A couple of weeks ago, bowing to the crushing pressure of the bye weeks and such a thin waiver wire, I, um, well I picked up Alex Smith and started him on two of my fantasy teams.

There, I said it.  I still don't believe that he is a good quarterback.  But he's come through for me (and my Niners) and I will give credit where it's due.  So here goes:  Thank you Coach Harbaugh for helping a marginal player do well.  And thank you for a record of 8-1!!!!!

Ok, now that I've cleared the air (I feel so much better now) let's talk.  We are well over halfway through the fantasy season and my teams are just awful.  I don't have even close to a .500 record on any of the three teams.  How can this be?

Is it because the Internet Gestapo at my company won't let me research football while I am at work?  These IT guys seem to equate ESPN with perverted dog on cat porn and block all my best attempts to get around their domain approvals.  I've even gone so far as to complain to my company's board of directors.  They all agree with me, but the IT squirrels still prevail.  Gah!!!  And please don't tell them I am blogging from my work laptop, that might just cause a meltdown.

Maybe it's because I don't have a lot of time at home at night to delve into the ins and outs of what the heck is happening in the NFL (which, by the way, stands for No Frikkin Logic)?  I mean, who in the heck is letting the Rams win?  And what happened to Buffalo?

Which brings me to my third, and most likely excuse possible explanation:  Is it because the league is just not behaving the way it is supposed to?  I mean, seriously. Miami has a better record than Indy.  (I miss you Peyton.  I REALLY miss you...).  The entire NFC West won this week.  How does that happen?  I am a long time Niners fan but those of you who've read my posts know I am pretty objective about my team.  San Francisco has a better record than New England (doing a happy schadenfreude dance here).  Actually the only team in the NFL (again, refer to the definition above) that has a better record than SF is Green Bay.  Boo-yah!!!

What it comes down to is having the time to really take care of my teams.  And I don't. But I will still play because I truly enjoy it, and enjoy all of you.  So when your teams are matched up against mine (for this season at least) you can pull the infield in and pretty much notch a win.  Cuz my teams STINK!!!

How are your teams doing?  And why do you think your teams are doing how they are?  What are your excuses reasons?

I want to give a huge thank you to Sue, who makes sure we all have a place to play Fantasy Football and cool people to play with.  I know it's frustrating trying to herd all us cats sometimes, but you do a great job Sue, and I truly appreciate your time and effort!

Oh, The Bye Weeks...

So, the bye weeks are here.  Yay (this is dripping with sarcasm).  I am not so cool as Rusty, who can take bye weeks into account during the draft.  I am lucky if I can pick players who aren't in jail or out for the season...

Which brings me to Peyton Manning.  Actually, it brings me to Curtis Painter, but bear with me for a second.  I miss Peyton.  The Peyton of old, always the smartest man on the field.  Always able to pull a victory from the jaws of defeat.  Now that he's on the bench for a season, it's a toss-up if he'll be able to come back to form.  I hope so.

But in the interim there is Curtis Painter.  For such a young guy (he's younger than my sons!) he is showing some real big-boy poise in the pocket, and has made some pinpoint passes.  And what an arm!!!  Not sure if he has what it takes to be a stellar QB, but he's better now than Collins ever was.  But Indy is 0-6.  Just typing that is causing my physical pain...I am near tears.

And, just in case you were wondering why I hadn't brought it up...THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS ARE 5-1.  Really.  I know, it reads like a typo or the delusion of an old granny that can't face the harsh reality that her team sucks. That still doesn't mean that Alex Smith can play football, but I think Harbaugh is able to get a bit out of the dry well that is Smith's talent.  Feel free to prove me wrong Alex.  Please...

And who else is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that 6 weeks are gone already?  I am kinda bummed.  Actually I am really bummed, because I haven't been able to catch as many games as I'd like.  But the heart of the season is coming up and hopefully my pitiful fantasy teams can hang in there so I don't drag down the stretch in last place.

The bye weeks are killers.  Are you haunting the waiver wire and FA lists, picking up dreck to fill a slot too?  No, you're picking up the decent players on waivers before I can get to them! 

What are the bye weeks doing to you?

This isn't a Fantasy, it's a Nightmare!!!

I was SO stoked about my fantasy teams.. Peyton on 2 teams, Romo on 1 (even though I am not convinced he is a real live elite QB), all kinds of good players, kickers and DST.  Then came THE NEWS...

Peyton Manning is out for probably the entire season.  In a fit of panic I picked up Kerry Collins (I know, he sucks) because the rest of the Indy offense was whole, so how bad could it be?  Right? 

Oh man, it just got worse and worse.  I felt kinda sick to my stomach as I watched Houston just beat the Colts to a pulp. 

That's pretty much indicative of how the first two weeks have gone for me.  Players who are supposed to produce don't.  Unless they are on my opponents' roster.

And the Niners are just giving me fits!  I was estatic that Harbaugh is our coach, but then he says, out loud, in public, that Alex Smith is the starting QB.  I'm guessing no one gave him the memo:  ALEX SMITH CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.  CUT YOUR CONSIDERABLE LOSSES AND KICK HIM TO THE NEAREST CURB!!!

No one listens to me.  But I am a wife and a mom so I am used to it (lol).  I would think that over 35 years of faithful fandom would get me at least an hour with the coaching staff to tell them how to run the team...

And I just SO can't stand Tony Romo.  Stay on the bench if you're hurt you wannabe.  Kitna was losing doing just fine!  Field goal in OT, I HATE THE COWGIRLS!!!!

And is it just me or is anyone else sick of Tom Terrific already?  How many of these color analysts are gonna drool all over Brady?  It's starting to feel like Madden with Favre.  Yeah, he's an awesome (arrogant creep) QB, probably the best in the game (sorry Peyton), but the pedestal he's on is pretty high.  Enough already!

So enough rantings by this old granny.  Let's see what week three does to me brings!

How's it going for you???

I am SO Ready for Some FOOTBALL!!!

Wow, after a long off-season (don't they seem to be getting longer?) and the drama of the lockout  my first Fantasty Draft is tonight.  I'm playing in only three leagues this year, all with mostly the same great group of people, and I'm looking forward to a lot of fun!

I was sooo happy when Harbaugh was named the 49er's head coach.  Not to dis Singletary, (my respect for him as a Christian man and a total beast of a middle linebacker is well documented) but he was way too invested in Alex Smith.  So this afternoon I read an article quoting Harbaugh as saying that the starting QB job is Smith's to lose.  WHAT???????

Note to the 49er coaching staff, front office and ownership:  ALEX SMITH CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.  Cut your considerable losses and move on, hopefully to a good QB.  Heck, talk to Kurt Warner.  He may be long in the tooth, but at least he's a quarterback!

So I sit here, waiting for the draft to start, excited and happy and anticipating all the highs and lows football brings.  But, having been a Niners fan for 35 years, I am anticipating some serious lows...

What are you most excited about???

I'm Baaack!!!

It has been WAY too long since I've posted here.  Life has been so very busy and lots of things happening.  So what brings me back?  WORLD CUP!!!

Yes, World Cup, the most exciting sporting event in the world!  Now, all my fantasy football buds are probably gasping for air and contemplating my fantasy demise, but wait!  You KNOW how much I love FOOTBALL, but a big piece of my heart belongs to FUSSBOL (German for soccer). 

Think of it, every four years the whole world comes together and celebrates The Beautiful Game (and it is beautiful) for an entire month.  The best in the world compete for their home countries.  It doesn't get better than that.

The tournament kicked off yesterday at Soccer City in Johannesburg, South Africa, with the South African side called Bafala Bafala (you have to love that name) taking on the favored 'El Tri", the Mexican National side.  It was a pretty good second half for the home boys, with Tshabalala (another great name) scoring the first goal of the tournament - a little moment of magic!  The game ended in a tie and, while the host country is probably estatic the Mexican side have to be unhappy.

Today the big game was the US vs England, a hugely anticipated match.  England scored in the fourth minute on a very nice play that highlighted the weaknesses in our defensive line and really pissed off Tim Howard, our keeper.  The first half did show that we belong with the best, because we dominated the time of possession and held the ball well. 

Very near the end of the half Dempsey took a shot on goal and Green, the English keeper, should have put his body in front of the ball, because it deflected off his hands and rolled across the goal line, scoring one for us.  I was estatic, of course, but still feel pretty bad for Green, because he has to live with that mistake for the rest of his life.  They take their soccer way too serious in England and his life will most likely be negatively impacted unless he can come up with a heroic moment or two later in the tournament. 

The second half was exciting with several quality opportunities on both sides but no more scoring.  So we played the anticipated winner of our group to a draw and got a point out of it.  Not a bad result.  Now we just have to beat Slovenia and Algeria to advance from group play.

I love soccer and am SO excited about World Cup! 

Long Live Drew Brees!

It was a thing of beauty to see Drew Brees lead the Saints to such a decisive victory over the hated (yes, hated) Patriots!  The perfect passer rating was just icing on the cake.  I enjoyed that game more than any game I've seen lately ('cause we don't get the Niner games here, and they lose when I watch anyway, so...).

And what's up with Brady sitting out the last 5 minutes?  Takin his ball and goin' home?  Looked like a temper tantrum move to me...quitter...

Sports reporters tend to make me a little nuts in post game press conferences.  The stupidest questions, over and over...let me do that job, I'll get it right!  I'll ask the questions everyone wants to ask but doesn't have the hoo-hoo's to do it!  Like, "hey Coach Bellicek, do you have a pulse?" or "so, Coach Singletary, have you actually killed and eaten any of your players this year?"

I do have to give Brady kudos for hanging in the pocket as long as he does.  A year of rehab on a new knee can't be pleasant, and probably involved a lot of pain...

And hats off to the baby 3rd stringer for the Steelers!  He did a heck of a job.  Too bad about that pick in OT but still, he ran on the Ravens defense.  Good for him!

Bye Week Hell Part Deux

Ok, you've read my rant on bye weeks.  Now that they are over (thank you!!!) I'll whine just a little bit more about how frikkin AWFUL the past few weeks have been for my teams!

Running back - settling for all of y 'alls castoffs on Friday mornings when I finally have a chance to take a look at my teams (Monday and Friday mornings are usually just killed with back to back to back teleconferences).  Running backs have been the bane of my existence on the byes.

Quarter Backs - Now, I paid attention to bye weeks when I picked my QB's!  And there I was, actually starting ALEX SMITH (just sit with that a minute).  Again, it just sucked.

Needless to say, my win-loss records took a serious hit!  How did yours do?

3-0 in Divison BABY!!!

Ok, so, no big deal, but the Niners are 3-0 against the NFC West Divison rivals.  BOO-YAH!!!  Do you know how many years (decades?) it's been since I could say that?  Huh? 

And the Dodgers start their post-season run against the dreaded Cardinals tomorrow.  Yeah, I'm not happy about it either.  The Cards always seem to have the Dodgers' number.  And Manny is being Manny again, and looks like a scared little girl at the plate.  Get a big-boy haircut you wuss and do the job you're getting paid for!!! (um, no I am not a Manny fan, never have been, and was upset when the Dodgers actually paid real dollars for his sorry, drug taking, fussy me-first, prima donna, gonna play only when I feel like it a**).  I don't care for show-boats.

Hence my absolute glee at T.O. tanking against Miami.  You know Tuna had it personal for Owens.  Regardless of all of the grown-up conversations everyone has about it,  Jones picked T.O. over Parcells and forced the coaching great's departure from the Biggest Whorehouse in Texas. (um, not a Cowgirls fan, either).

And what the heck is up with Brett last night?  I'm surprised he didn't burst into flames showing up in purple against the Pack.  I bet he would have if the game had been at Lambeau!  Brett is going to hell for sure, now!

The Twinkies (um, sorry I should show some respect now...) are going to take the Yankees out in the first round of post season play.  Go Minnesota (see, it's just Brett, not Twin Cities sports in general...)!!! 

As for Fantasy I won 4 out of 5 this week (whew!  thought I was gonna be 2-5 for sure!).  I am having a ball, just wish I had enough time to get into the smack talk!  Well, things will lighten up a bit after the end of October (yeah right, I don't know who I'm kidding.  It's just gonna be a different kind of madness in Nov!). Again all my thanks and appreciation to Susan for making it happen!

Random thoughts on Week 1

Week 1 is in the books and boy, did I enjoy every minute!  Especially the NINERS WIN!!!!  Now that's how to start a season!  My guys were the ONLY team to beat one of last season's Super Bowl teams!  Uh huh!  (Granny is bouncing around her office doing a dance that would embarass her children!)  Playoffs here we come!!!  YEAH!!! 

Back to the real world...  For all the smack I talked in the fantasy leagues I got creamed.  Seriously.  I won a couple of games but, overall, not so good for me!  I apparently talk more stuff than my guys can produce on the field...

Is Tom Terrific really back?  Or did Buffalo finally tire out?

How cool was it to see Terrell Owens drop passes? 

Thank you San Diego for pulling out that last minute TD.  Won me $50 bucks in the pool at the country club.  And I can't stand the Raiders.  Al Davis is the George Steinbrenner of football.  No, wait.  Jerry Jones is the George Steinbrenner.  So that makes Al Davis, hmmmmm, the DEVIL!!!!

Total bummer about Uhrlacher.  The Bears D without a total meat eater at middle linebacker?  Can't happen!  Singletary looks like he could still break some necks, but he's busy this week...

Jay Cutler just crashed and burned.  I hope he improves, just to shut the Denver fans up.  Not that I blame them, but enough already, huh?

And Brett.  I don't care how well he played (the Vikes fan in the office next to mine does, though!) it's unacceptable to see him in purple.  Really.  My youngest daughter is considering a ceremonial jersey burning (after her new Rodgers jersey is delivered).

Well, gotta hit the waivers and see if I can find real players to replace the duds on some of my teams! 

Fantasy Drafts

Ok, so I'm going through all of my lineups today in preparation for tomorrow's kick-off to the NFL season (tomorrow! tomorrow! I luv ya, tomorrow!) and I noticed something.  The lineup I picked myself (I actually got to participate in one of the live drafts this year) is probably the best. 

I really enjoyed the live draft, and wish my schedule allowed me to join in on the drafts for my other teams.  It was a lot of fun.  I thought there would be more chatting, but everything moved very quickly, so I didn't have time to check out the smack talking!  Maybe next time, now that I know what the heck I'm doing!!

I was pretty intimidated going into the draft room because I didn't want to come off as a total idiot (at least, not this early in the season).  But no worries, everything was very self explanatory and user friendly (aren't you tired of that phrase?  I am).  The only problem I had was that people continually drafted players I wanted before I could get to them!!! 

What I liked best was the ability to pick the team I wanted.  Conventional wisdom tells us to go for the rock star running backs first, then QB's, wideouts, etc. I did go for a rock star first, but then I went for the Ravens and Steelers defenses early, because I know from painful experience that a defense can make or break your Sunday.  Also a couple of top notch QB's, for the same reason.  I also picked tight ends early.  Of course, I am hurting a bit in the WR position, but I live on the waiver wire anyway, so I'll be ok.

Another great thing was the ability to avoid problem children.  I don't care how talented TO or Chad whatshisface are, I don't need any more drama in my life.  The only diva I have time for is my granddaughter.  The first season of fantasy I played was a nightmare because of the 'antics' of these overpaid egotistical sons-of-(but I digress...)

Something else I was able to do (that I learned from Rusty last year) was to pick players and positions around bye weeks.  'Cause bye weeks can kill you, take my word for it!

All in all the live draft was a pretty positive experience.  Although I do have to admit there is a certain thrill to seeing your team lineup for the first time if it's autopicked (that's where the computer picks the top ranked player available when it's your turn).  That's kinda fun, too, for a minute.  Until I realize I had the stupid computer that apparently drafted from the bottom up!

Let the Games Begin!!!

Ok, quick update.  I am in 5 (yeah, 5!!!) fantasy football leagues.  They're all with the same core of great, fun folks who do a fair amount of smack talking during the season.  It's all in fun, and has already begun!

Mike (Purple Haze) seems to think that this Granny needs Geritol.  I set him straight (was there any doubt I would?).  He's also started in with Cheryl, and Rusty and Susan are shooting barbs back and forth.

That's what makes these fantasy leagues so much fun!  Most of us have played together before and know personalities, etc.  There is some carry over from last season, too.  Rusty beat me out for the championship in one league last year and I am SO gunning for him this year!

Susan, the administrator for all of the leagues, puts in a lot of time and effort to make sure that everyone has a good time.  She's a lot of fun, too!  Quite the rabble rouser!

I'm looking forward to the official start of the season on Thursday because I've been waiting for so long for football, and because the 'games' will begin!!!

Good luck to everyone in their leagues!  Oh, and the Niners are going to make the playoffs this year. 

Fantasy Football Begins!

One of the reasons I started this blog is because everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) I know is way, way tired of hearing about my fanstasy football teams.

And not just the teams. My draft drama, player ups and downs, lineup woes, bye-week bitches, and the list goes on and on (and on and on and...).

I love football and I love fantasy football. I don't play live fantasy (refer back to how EVERYONE I know is tired of my fantasy football). It's not like those hilarious nfl.com commercials (I'll take Housemazilli!) (You'll take who we give you!). I played one season in a public league on-line and have been lucky to be invited to play in private on-line leagues with a very fun group of people for the past two seasons.

Now, I've never met these folks and most probably never will, but we do have fun during the season. Jibes and jokes pass back and forth on the sites and it's all in good fun. No one takes it seriously (at least I hope not!) and it doesn't get out of hand.

This blog will be my place to whine and cheer and anything else I need to do to get the fanstasy football out of my system before I talk to actual live people.

I'm in 3 leagues on nfl.com so far and my join another at ESPN. It doesn't take a lot of time but I live and die on the waiver wire.

The drafts are in August. I've never participated in a 'live' draft (where you pick your own players one at a time in turn) but will try to do it this season.

So check back. This will be a fun (at least for me) place to talk about my teams without watching my friends eyes glaze over...