Happy Anniversary

I reached the one-year 'anniversary' of my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis at the end of May. I celebrated by finally cutting my Prednisone down to 2.5mg a day (from 20 mg just 1 year ago!). But I can work and play with my grandkids, and cook. I am going to happy hour tonight with my husband to watch a baseball game. And I'll have beer!



It's quite a club I'm in.  We live very careful lives but, dammit, we still live! And that's the victory. We can't beat the disease, really. But we CAN and DO learn to live with it, and around it, and have full and meaningful lives.

The trick, for me at least, was finally realizing that the disease isn't going away. And with my diagnostics and progression I probably won't be experiencing the "R" word. But I decided to manage my disease, instead of it managing me!


Yes, I'm overweight and don't always eat healthy. And I don't exercise very regularly (but have a rheumy who thinks that golf is just great exercise for me!). But I mostly do the right things and live that careful life. Getting enough rest. Not overdoing it. Taking my meds, seeing my doc, yada yada yada. (And after a while, it all seems like yada yada yada).


I've learned when and how I can push it.  If all the kids are coming over and I'll have a house full of babies for the day I'd rather it be on a Saturday, so I can rest on Sunday.  If I am going to get energetic and tackle physical projects, it should be on a Saturday (for the same reason, see the pattern?)
 
There are people who haven't made peace with the cards they've been dealt, but being angry takes too much energy and that just makes me tired...

It's just not FAIR!

I know, I know! I've told my kids a hundred times (each) that life isn't fair blah blah blah...but geez!

The RA always gets it's own way. ALWAYS. And there is no 'mom' to mediate the issue. I have lots of people on my side, from my wonderful husband to my oh-so-patient-with-this-patient rheumatologist, but that doesn't matter. RA -100 / Beth - 0!

That's not to say I don't push it and gain some yards. I do. Ya gotta live, right? But sometimes, without warning or even any real provocation, the RA comes pushing back with a vengeance and not only takes back all my hard won semblance of normalcy but sacks me like a bad quarterback with no front line! (I am jonesing for football, can you tell?)

I am taking up golf (my rheumatologist doesn't know this yet, so don't tell him before I see him, ok?). Lots of business done on the course, etc. etc. So I join a women's networking/golf organization and a few of my clients registered us as a foursome for an event on the 21st. I can't wait. I just got a set of clubs yesterday and planned to hit the driving range this afternoon and play a few holes over the weekend.

The RA has other ideas. I am exhausted. My wrists, hands, knees and feet hurt terribly. I feel like a truck hit me. I want to go home and nap for a long, long time. AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS!!! Nothing! Just went to work and came home.

Had a CMAA dinner meeting last night but left early and was home and in bed long before I normally would be. And why did I go to bed early? So I wouldn't be overtired and would feel good to hit the darn driving range today!

IT'S NOT FAIR