Ok, What Happened to the NFL???

Ya know, it seems to me that things are just not right in the universe.  Maybe an asteroid passed too close and set things on a bit of a different orbit.  Not much, not even noticeable to most people.  But just enough to totally mess with the NFL season!

Here's what I mean:  The Raiders are on top of the AFC West, with Denver in second.  They have ridiculously unimpressive records.  San Francisco has the No. 1 defense in the NFC (huh?) and an offense well into the lower half (I think it's 12th, but I can't check, cuz I'm at work and it's the IT control-freak sports-porn thing).  And they have the 2nd best record in football.  Not the West, not in the NFC, but in FOOTBALL.  The whole league. 

It's just not right.  The records and stats aren't matching up.  My handicapper husband just shakes his head and mumbles.

And how does Green Bay let Tampa in the game at all?  "The Battle of the Bays" shouldn't have been at all this year. 

My Bears- fan son-in-law is sad that Cutler will be out for the rest of the season.  Since when is anyone sad that Cutler is sitting?  Not that I'm happy he's hurt, I'm not, but he is usually the other teams' best quarterback.  But then, who do they have on the bench???  Hmmmmm. 

I hope the planets jiggle themselves back into proper position, because this is just nuts.  After the Niners clinch, of course...

Low/No Sodium But Still Tasty?

Low/No Sodium But Still Tasty?

Coming Clean...

Ok, I just have to get this off my chest.  A couple of weeks ago, bowing to the crushing pressure of the bye weeks and such a thin waiver wire, I, um, well I picked up Alex Smith and started him on two of my fantasy teams.

There, I said it.  I still don't believe that he is a good quarterback.  But he's come through for me (and my Niners) and I will give credit where it's due.  So here goes:  Thank you Coach Harbaugh for helping a marginal player do well.  And thank you for a record of 8-1!!!!!

Ok, now that I've cleared the air (I feel so much better now) let's talk.  We are well over halfway through the fantasy season and my teams are just awful.  I don't have even close to a .500 record on any of the three teams.  How can this be?

Is it because the Internet Gestapo at my company won't let me research football while I am at work?  These IT guys seem to equate ESPN with perverted dog on cat porn and block all my best attempts to get around their domain approvals.  I've even gone so far as to complain to my company's board of directors.  They all agree with me, but the IT squirrels still prevail.  Gah!!!  And please don't tell them I am blogging from my work laptop, that might just cause a meltdown.

Maybe it's because I don't have a lot of time at home at night to delve into the ins and outs of what the heck is happening in the NFL (which, by the way, stands for No Frikkin Logic)?  I mean, who in the heck is letting the Rams win?  And what happened to Buffalo?

Which brings me to my third, and most likely excuse possible explanation:  Is it because the league is just not behaving the way it is supposed to?  I mean, seriously. Miami has a better record than Indy.  (I miss you Peyton.  I REALLY miss you...).  The entire NFC West won this week.  How does that happen?  I am a long time Niners fan but those of you who've read my posts know I am pretty objective about my team.  San Francisco has a better record than New England (doing a happy schadenfreude dance here).  Actually the only team in the NFL (again, refer to the definition above) that has a better record than SF is Green Bay.  Boo-yah!!!

What it comes down to is having the time to really take care of my teams.  And I don't. But I will still play because I truly enjoy it, and enjoy all of you.  So when your teams are matched up against mine (for this season at least) you can pull the infield in and pretty much notch a win.  Cuz my teams STINK!!!

How are your teams doing?  And why do you think your teams are doing how they are?  What are your excuses reasons?

I want to give a huge thank you to Sue, who makes sure we all have a place to play Fantasy Football and cool people to play with.  I know it's frustrating trying to herd all us cats sometimes, but you do a great job Sue, and I truly appreciate your time and effort!

Oh, The Bye Weeks...

So, the bye weeks are here.  Yay (this is dripping with sarcasm).  I am not so cool as Rusty, who can take bye weeks into account during the draft.  I am lucky if I can pick players who aren't in jail or out for the season...

Which brings me to Peyton Manning.  Actually, it brings me to Curtis Painter, but bear with me for a second.  I miss Peyton.  The Peyton of old, always the smartest man on the field.  Always able to pull a victory from the jaws of defeat.  Now that he's on the bench for a season, it's a toss-up if he'll be able to come back to form.  I hope so.

But in the interim there is Curtis Painter.  For such a young guy (he's younger than my sons!) he is showing some real big-boy poise in the pocket, and has made some pinpoint passes.  And what an arm!!!  Not sure if he has what it takes to be a stellar QB, but he's better now than Collins ever was.  But Indy is 0-6.  Just typing that is causing my physical pain...I am near tears.

And, just in case you were wondering why I hadn't brought it up...THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS ARE 5-1.  Really.  I know, it reads like a typo or the delusion of an old granny that can't face the harsh reality that her team sucks. That still doesn't mean that Alex Smith can play football, but I think Harbaugh is able to get a bit out of the dry well that is Smith's talent.  Feel free to prove me wrong Alex.  Please...

And who else is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that 6 weeks are gone already?  I am kinda bummed.  Actually I am really bummed, because I haven't been able to catch as many games as I'd like.  But the heart of the season is coming up and hopefully my pitiful fantasy teams can hang in there so I don't drag down the stretch in last place.

The bye weeks are killers.  Are you haunting the waiver wire and FA lists, picking up dreck to fill a slot too?  No, you're picking up the decent players on waivers before I can get to them! 

What are the bye weeks doing to you?

I Must Be Dreaming

Niners Win!!!  Niners are 3-1!!!  49ers beat Eagles!!! 

Humor me, it's been a long time since I could actually type that out loud.  I am pretty happy.  But two caveats:

1.  Just because he didn't put up any picks today and made two touchdown passes, Alex Smith is not a good quarterback and had no business starting in the NFL, unless it's for the Cowboys (sorry Jimmy), Rams, Cardinals or Seahawks (sorry Joe).

2.  I don't buy that the Eagles are for real this year.  Vick is behaving himself and saying the right words (for now) but lets see what happens when the Eagles fans turn on him.  And you know they will.  This isn't even about the dog murder.  This is about his temper.  And we all know he has one (cuz he tortured dogs to death.  No, I'm not over it.  That's a special kind of broken).  You remember him flipping his own fans the bird in Atlanta.    And their defense can't be any good if the Niners offense can score on them.

So I will take the win, and be pretty estatic about it.  I'm just not counting on much more.  I have to wake up sometime!

And who else just loves that Detroit is 4-0?  I am always pulling for the underdog (I learned this by being a Dodgers fan for over 40 years, and a Niners fan for 35) and Detroit is the feel good story of the season.  Go Lions!  I thank you for beating the Cowgirls today. 

And I don't care who says what.  Tony Romo is not an elite quarterback.  Not in Fantasy, not in Real Life.  He's good, but he's not great.  And I'm not convinced that he has what it takes to be great. 

I miss Peyton Manning.  And always will.

Al Michaels seems a bit bitter about the rules and how they have been interpreted this season.  C'mon Al.  Zebras are people too. 

Mark Sanchez is having a bad day.  A seriously bad day.  I think it has more to do with the Ravens defense (which is totally kicking butt for my fantasy team tonight!) than the lack of Mangold in the O-line.

Houston is playing good football!  They are for real for sure!  Owen Daniels is my highest producing TE.  Dallas Clark is still my fav, but the numbers just aren't there, yet. 

Once the Colts settle down with a QB for the season I think the offense will start producing.  Says the lady with most of the Indy WR and RB on her teams and would trade just about anyone for Dallas Clark...

Except Wes Welker.  He's the only Patriot I can even stomach, and I love him a lot.  I will trade anyone on my rosters for Wes.  He is a fantasy hero and just tore off some major yards today!

How are your teams (Fantasy and Fav) doing???

This isn't a Fantasy, it's a Nightmare!!!

I was SO stoked about my fantasy teams.. Peyton on 2 teams, Romo on 1 (even though I am not convinced he is a real live elite QB), all kinds of good players, kickers and DST.  Then came THE NEWS...

Peyton Manning is out for probably the entire season.  In a fit of panic I picked up Kerry Collins (I know, he sucks) because the rest of the Indy offense was whole, so how bad could it be?  Right? 

Oh man, it just got worse and worse.  I felt kinda sick to my stomach as I watched Houston just beat the Colts to a pulp. 

That's pretty much indicative of how the first two weeks have gone for me.  Players who are supposed to produce don't.  Unless they are on my opponents' roster.

And the Niners are just giving me fits!  I was estatic that Harbaugh is our coach, but then he says, out loud, in public, that Alex Smith is the starting QB.  I'm guessing no one gave him the memo:  ALEX SMITH CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.  CUT YOUR CONSIDERABLE LOSSES AND KICK HIM TO THE NEAREST CURB!!!

No one listens to me.  But I am a wife and a mom so I am used to it (lol).  I would think that over 35 years of faithful fandom would get me at least an hour with the coaching staff to tell them how to run the team...

And I just SO can't stand Tony Romo.  Stay on the bench if you're hurt you wannabe.  Kitna was losing doing just fine!  Field goal in OT, I HATE THE COWGIRLS!!!!

And is it just me or is anyone else sick of Tom Terrific already?  How many of these color analysts are gonna drool all over Brady?  It's starting to feel like Madden with Favre.  Yeah, he's an awesome (arrogant creep) QB, probably the best in the game (sorry Peyton), but the pedestal he's on is pretty high.  Enough already!

So enough rantings by this old granny.  Let's see what week three does to me brings!

How's it going for you???

I am SO Ready for Some FOOTBALL!!!

Wow, after a long off-season (don't they seem to be getting longer?) and the drama of the lockout  my first Fantasty Draft is tonight.  I'm playing in only three leagues this year, all with mostly the same great group of people, and I'm looking forward to a lot of fun!

I was sooo happy when Harbaugh was named the 49er's head coach.  Not to dis Singletary, (my respect for him as a Christian man and a total beast of a middle linebacker is well documented) but he was way too invested in Alex Smith.  So this afternoon I read an article quoting Harbaugh as saying that the starting QB job is Smith's to lose.  WHAT???????

Note to the 49er coaching staff, front office and ownership:  ALEX SMITH CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.  Cut your considerable losses and move on, hopefully to a good QB.  Heck, talk to Kurt Warner.  He may be long in the tooth, but at least he's a quarterback!

So I sit here, waiting for the draft to start, excited and happy and anticipating all the highs and lows football brings.  But, having been a Niners fan for 35 years, I am anticipating some serious lows...

What are you most excited about???